Nature sends us into the world with all sorts of X’s. Maybe your X lines up neatly with your actual situation in life. But then again, maybe not. The world is full of people — competent, successful people — with X’s that are imprudent, or immoral, or illegal, or indeed outright impossible. Maybe you have a thing for inappropriate would-be partners, or for non-consensual interactions. Perhaps your X is being a pirate — or being taken by pirates. Your X might even be monumentally weird — at least to others. There are people who claim to have been turned on by the scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in which Violet blew up into a giant blueberry.

If this is your X, I do not recommend your trying to blow up an actual girl in this manner.

So what should you do?

Well, as it happens the world is full of hard-working artists [...]

I find myself nodding my head and saying: Yes. That. Exactly.

No one overlaps perfectly with their partner or partners’ turnons, fetishes and fantasies. And so: here I am, teasing those bare edges, limning those white-hot secret thoughts with my words, my body, my voice.

There is a beauty in this that’s hard to describe. But you feel it, don’t you?