Have you ever gotten bored with something you loved?

Not because you stopped loving it, no – but because it stopped being new, stopped having something new to tell you for a while. Something to figure out. You stopped even having interesting thoughts about it, or feeling interested. You missed its touch, but just like trying to fuck an old lover you’re going through a rough patch with, you couldn’t make yourself feel that fire.

I’m the kind of person that needs fire.

So after a while of being shiftless and aimless, starting a hundred somethings and not having the oomph to push them through (or perhaps being distracted by that other, more immediate sputtering fire… which one do I see every day, after all?), I realized a few things.

One: I hate the city I’m in, truthfully. I’ll be out in a year.

Two: I really don’t have any desire to be a hack, mostly because I don’t have the heart for it. I admire the balls on marketers and hustlers – but I’m not one. That’s not my gift. I can do one thing, and that’s tell the truth, as hard as I can. I can use lies to tell that truth, sure. I’ve never flinched at that.

But I can’t spin lipstick and promises, and I’m not really into making anything I can’t look back on and be proud of. There are thousands of people in this world who can make pure straight-up smut better than I can. I say this as someone who happens to like straight-up smut.

I’m not someone to come to if you want it – which is strange given that it’s something I enjoy and participate in – I’m someone to come to if you want that strangely uncomfortable feeling that “she knows.”

I think I’d like my multimedia to be rare and excellent, and I think I’ll spend some time this year improving my visual and audio skills accordingly. But it’s the exchanges that fuel me the most.

I lust after the interaction and the dynamic of live, full-on phone sex and cam. I savor the tango of face to face, instinct to instinct… sadist to masochist, dominant to submissive. And that’s why I’ve made the move to traveling more, living more, continuing to spend time with my cherished phone and email pets, and now: real-time sessions.

Take a peek at my new fetish escort website, and keep watch for tweaks to my phone site (including new photos and an availability indicator for my direct dial line) as well as more here on this blog.

I’ve missed you. Thank you for reading.

(Many thanks to the wonderful Sarah Sloane for pointing out that stagnation and boredom can lead to burnout, and that depression hates change. Words to live by… And thanks to my wonderful clients and to all those at Desiree Alliance this year who both reminded me that it’s the connections we form with clients and fellow sex workers, the energy we exchange and the ways that we give back to each other that make this work worth doing, always.)

If you skipped all that, here’s the summary: slips are decadently hot and I lust them. They’re the perfect tease accessory and oops, is my satin fetish showing? Thought so.

One night recently after a (delicious and soon to be blogged) camshow I ended up with deep red lipstick on my white vintage full slip. I took off the slip and rescued it (using gentle hand soap and cold water – fyi to sissies and fellow femmes) but I had to put on another while it dried.

So I did.

It wasn’t enough.

I added another.

When I was up to three silky soft, slippery half-slips sliding over each other I just had to make a video and share the fun. I took them all off, one by one, and started again (this time on camera) in just my white lace bra and panties…

Oh, did you want to see the evidence?

11 minutes of slip layering fetish fun (I layer four different silky vintage slips), WMV, available for discreet download through both eCamPay and Niteflirt. I’ve also got my ever popular Small Penis Honesty clip on special until December 1st, but only through this link.

What fetish, tease, and femdom fetish videos and picture sets would you like to see next? I love finding ways to twist your fetish and drive you completely crazy.

I could see her shadow on the other side of the folding screen, a moving sculpture of feminine grace with her round hips and shapely legs. My handmaiden.

She draped a pair of filmy stockings over the screen. I snugged my basque up against my body and exhaled. “Willow. Come cinch me up, dear.”

She tugged the ribbon – I breathed in, exhaled to feel the basque compressing my form. Yes. My girl knelt before me to smooth each stocking free of wrinkles. She tugged on her white satin gloves – and I saw the loose thread.

The slap was automatic; I didn’t feel it, only saw her recoil with shock and shame in her wide green eyes.

“Girl. Your dress is out of place. Your gloves-!”

She flushed. “Ma’am, I- I-”

“Willow Green. Fetch me the hairbrush.”

Her lips parted, then closed. She obeyed.

The sway of her ass kindled my hunger. She knelt before me, the boar-bristle hairbrush face-up in her hands. I pulled her to her feet and bent her over my knees. It took one arm to pin her across my lap – she was all rustling petticoats and squirming curves, my girl, with those long legs kicking out. I slid my dark-gloved hand beneath her skirts, exposing the undercurve of her plump ass.

The first strikes fell on her thighs, reddening them, taunting her. Sharp and swift where she could take the least. Crack. Wood met flesh, and flesh yielded.

I spanked her bare ass and she squealed.

Updated! Read the other participants’ 250 word story entries:

Naughty Abby
Casey Morgan (no relation, alas)
The Spanking Resource

When you’re a sex worker of any stripe, one of the first things people want to know is whether or not you’re “real.” Real pictures, real name, real encounters, real breasts. After a while for a lot of clients that fades away and what takes central importance is a different kind of reality.

They don’t care so much whether or not my stories are real* as whether or not those are my actual fantasies. They want to know if the kind of sex I have or portray at “work” is the kind of sex I have at home.

To that I say: not always.

Anyone with a fetish can relate to how hard it is to find a fellow fetishist, someone who understands and shares your seemingly irrational turn-ons. Any polymorphously perverse kinkster can understand how unlikely it is to find someone who you not only have physical, mental, and emotional chemistry with but who shares every last one of your various kinks and doesn’t want anything on your hard limits list.

Any sex worker, present or prior, will know that sometimes having a tangible difference between the kind of sex you have with your partner or partners and the sexual persona you take on at “work” helps you become and revel in that fantasy without taking any lingering unpleasantness from one side to the other in either direction. Sexuality is a messy business and it helps to have boundaries between public and private life. There is such a thing as being too naked.

I love living authentically, with all my warts and tender underbelly out in the open, but that kind of brutal honesty can be very uncomfortable especially when other people are involved. I respect the others in my life by keeping enough privacy for myself to cover them as well.

There’s a beauty and a glamour in playing pretend and why are any of us in this business if not for the dirty glamour? I write stories because I like to make things up. I fantasize because reality is limiting. I can’t really kidnap my objects of lust. (Legally.) I’m not (always) a stockinged siren of a gun moll out to ensnare the hearts and cocks of men.

But I could be.

And so I fantasize, and I create a persona where my fantasies and those of my fellow fetishists intersect. There, I go and put on a tarted-up version of my own sexual dark side; I slip her on and flash her under my skirt.

This is my private sexuality, the sexuality I had back when I was a virgin, back before I knew what sex was aside from kissing and making babies. I liked power play, pulp adventure, and wearing pretty things.

I love wearing femme-y lingerie and stockings with real garters that snap against my thigh and silky, satiny slips (why don’t they sell more slips? it’s ridiculous special ordering something that used to be so basic). I wish you could all understand how intriguing it was for me when I found out that some men not only got lingerie and nylon like I did, they were more turned on by underwear than nudity and some even wore it themselves.

(And women that wear? Ooh. Yes, please. I’ll take my bisexuality with a side order of high femme.)

I can dress up for myself in private a la Buffalo Bill or I can put on a show and share a little thrill with someone else. This satisfies my fetish for mass sexuality while respecting my actuality of a kinky man who gets me in every last regard except for the way I get turned on when I sneak a little nylon under my dress.

Real? Yeah. I’m real.

…And this is what I want. Come and get it.

Lingerie and Stocking Fetish Phone Sex

(18+, $2.19/min)

*Strangely enough most of mine are. What can I say, it’s good to be a sexual deviant…

Don’t worry – I’ll address that in my next post. This post is your chance to do some femdom and fetish porn Christmas shopping for yourselves. Enjoy it while it lasts. Don’t expect me to ever let you come first again…

I’ve got my 2007 and older 2008 photos and videos on sale until 11:59pm PST, December 26, 2008. After that date prices will return closer to their original levels. Of course generous gentlemen and financially weak losers are always welcome to make up for the sale with a nice tip.

Blog readers and Twitter followers, you’re the first to know. I haven’t even announced this sale on my Niteflirt listings yet (so some horny submissive males will be very surprised!). I’ve got fetish keywords next to the title of each set so you can find your personal weaknesses.

VIDEO: Small Penis Humiliation (small penis humiliation/sph, verbal humiliation, femdom, cuckolds) – $29.00 $19.00

Using my 8″ vibrator and a q-tip, I show you just how you measure up… My motto is “You must be this tall to ride” and your shortcomings mean you just don’t qualify. (14 minutes, audio & video, .WMV format. Download link in Niteflirt mail, preview clip attached)

PICS: Stockings & Garters Tease Part 1 (stockings, leg worship, upskirt, panties, tease) – $14.00 $10.00

Sneak peek from a custom set! I model my sheer silky black nylons, teasing you by showing lots of smooth stockinged leg, flashing my black garter straps and taunting you with *very* close up upskirt panty shots. (12 pics)

PICS: Stockings & Garters Tease Part 2 (lingerie, nylons, foot fetish, striptease, redhead, pink nipples) – $14.00 $10.00

Part 2 of the fetish striptease! I tease you by stripping down to my lingerie and stockings and show off my perfect breasts and nylon-covered toes. You’ll feel so weak by the end of the set when you see my pretty arched soles covered in sheer nylon… (21 pics)

PICS: Nylon and High Heels Shoe Tease (stiletto heels, pantyhose/stockings, shoe fetish, foot tease) $9.00 $6.00

I tease you in my black nylons and grey stiletto pumps – arching my feet, sliding my stockinged heel out of my shoe, and running my hand down my smooth legs. (6 pics)

PICS: Teasing You in My Satin Nightshirt (satin fetish, glasses, amateur/girl next door) $15.00 $10.00

Poor stroker… do you want me to brush this silky fabric against your skin? I keep my pinstripe satin nightshirt and black bra on, teasing you by keeping the full view hidden. (25 pics)

He’s so addicted to my photo sets he orders a new one after almost every cam show. I wonder what’s going to happen when he figures out I also do custom tease video…

Last night I teased him with my sheer lace bra, upskirt peeks in my office chair, and ground my ass at him until he came – I moved like I was fucking the air, all while my sensual voice was whispering in his ear that he would never be lucky enough to bury his face in my ass and lick it, let alone fuck me… After he savored the privilege of orgasming while looking at my smooth round ass he asked if I’d be open to modeling some of the outfits in my closet.

I’ll be changing off-cam, of course. It’s fun to be wicked. He might get a peek of stockinged foot, or the glimpse of my hips wiggling into a little satin slip… ha!

One poor stroker spent the night on the phone telling me about how his ex-girlfriend expected him to go down on her but never returned the favor, never had sex with him, only teased him in public, got him hard and taunted him into masturbating later with her worn panties.

This went on for a year.

Sometimes when he was lucky she’d stroke him – lightly, just to tease – or use some Astroglide and let him hump her still fist.

She was fucking her previous ex, of course. He knew about it… knew he was pussy whipped, but the frustration, the humiliation, and the sexuality kept just out of reach, only close enough to brush up against him and tease his cock, had him hooked.

Men are so simple.

He humped his fist for me on cam, came in a glass, and drank his cum. The look on his face was priceless.

I should send him a photo of my worn panties… taunt him further with all he could have had, if he wasn’t a cuckold stroker.

…

I’ve got nylons on my mind – it’s time to restock my lingerie drawer, especially after sacrificing so many stockings and panties to a good cause. Maybe you’ve got some suggestions for me? I could tell you about the different lingerie sets and stockings I’m planning on buying, and if you’re very lucky, what I’ll be doing with them.

Lingerie and Stocking Fetish Phone Sex

$1.99/min

Speaking of good causes I just sent the lovely Blue Eyed Vixen my submission for next week’s Tits for Troops. You’ll see my cheesecake contribution this Tuesday.

I’ve been craving an excuse to gag some poor stroker with my worn backseam stockings. Maybe I’ll make some nylon fetish recordings over the weekend. Or write a story to post here.

Think you can handle both?

Flirty Cocktease – Sensual Phone Domination

$1.99/min

Some of you have written to ask just what goes on in a TeaseCam session.

We’ll start by throwing your expectations out the window.

This is not about me stripping down as quickly as possible, shoving the largest available toy into my twat, and oohing and aahing as you masturbate furiously to a grainy, discolored cam feed.

This is not about me fake-baking, squeezing into an itty bitty rhinestone thong and a pair of designer jeans, giggling and calling you the “loser loser loser” to my princess.

Kudos to the camgirls who can pull that off. I’m pale and I can’t stand wearing jeans – but I do love clothes, and taking my time getting into – and out of – them.

Also I am neither an 18 year old coed nor a MILF. I know I look ambiguous, and I have fun roleplaying either older or younger, but I’m 24. That out of the way – of course we can pretend otherwise. Because this is all about leaving something to the imagination.

In my world your orgasm is never guaranteed. My fun at your expense always is.

I love fetishes. I have them. A lot of them. This makes it very easy to understand how simple it is to use your fetish against you.

I understand how weak you feel when you see a perfectly wrinkled sole… a thick black satin garter strap snapped tight against a bare thigh… when you feel the faint silken rasp of nylon drawn over your skin. The textures. The smells. The ache of frustration… the sensuality of satin…

I look inward, into what my fetishes do to me, and outward, observing what they do to you. Only in this instance it’s very like a cat watching a mouse. Sometimes you can even imagine the tail twitching.

Fetishes are beautiful irrational turn-ons and that makes them such gratifying buttons to push.

You’d love for me to push your button, wouldn’t you? Over and over…

In a cam session, I tease and frustrate and manipulate you with the tools at my disposal: my face, my voice, my body, my wardrobe, and your weakness for my sweet sensual sadism.

That can mean verbal humiliation. That can mean CFNM, directed masturbation, roleplays. That can mean driving you crazy with my stocking covered legs and feet while I sweet-talk you out of your money (nylon fetish and financial domination). Or we can get into a good old-fashioned slow striptease. Emphasis on the tease. And the begging. (Yours.)

It’s not important how it happens. In the end I am going to make you squirm.

I enjoy hearing your session ideas or working something out on the fly. Don’t expect to see me totally naked. Do expect to see me smiling – and maybe hear me laughing a little at your expense.

When I first got into domination it was on a strictly personal level with a long-term submissive. I didn’t understand small penis humiliation and felt that men with small penises should be encouraged to consider their other strong points in bed, such as giving good oral. I firmly believed men’s obsession with penis size was ridiculous and in no way based on reality.

Three things happened to change this:

1. One of my submissives had a very small penis. I worked around this, I was patient, I was supportive, I was licked from dawn til sunset. But if I ever tried to ride I couldn’t move or it would fall out. Condoms slid off. They were baggy. And he was a premature ejaculator. After a while I just had to find other ways to amuse myself with it. Mmm… Did I mention he was a masochist?

2. I finally started to understand erotic humiliation, and how it could be erotic, for both the giver and the receiver. I could never experience it as erotic to give until I understood what it was like to enjoy it from the other end.* I had to experience it myself a few times – and find it intriguing.

* I say never but there were times when my sadism took hold and I played rough. That said there was always hesitation and remorse until I understood it from both ends.

3. I finally gave it, gave it and enjoyed every minute of it. Over and over. Until the fading shame of cutting another person’s ego down was replaced with the secret thrill of exposing his weaknesses and leaving him raw and vulnerable… of loving to make him squirm. The penis is the center of a man’s ego, after all. I saw it as an intersection of verbal sadism, male exhibitionism, submissive shame, and the kink of being inspected and judged. I’m into CFNM (oh, who wouldn’t be? Who wouldn’t want a harem of sexy naked men on display for their amusement?) and after understanding small penis honesty from that angle it all started to click.

And the good people at LoveHoney sent me this satin smooth Inch Perfect vibrator, and it’s got a ruler on the side, in both inches and millimeters (some of you really need every bit you can coax out of a ruler, it seems). And I took one look at it and knew it would be the perfect tool to break these men. A femdom vibrator – I never thought I’d see that dream come true. Imagine the CFNM party applications… Actually I’m going to write that story now.

After all the hassle of dealing with an actual micropenis (see #1) I’ve moved on to bigger and better things. My man has something even the Inch Perfect lacks – skill, stamina, flexibility and a breathtakingly perfect G-spot hitting curve. (Actually he’s thicker too but I don’t want to swell his ego too much here. He does read this sometimes.)

NEW! Small Penis Honesty video – Ready to hear the truth about your undersized equipment? See how your little q-tip dick measures up against my 8″ vibrator. 14 minutes of crystal clear visual and verbal humiliation. (.WMV format, will convert on request)

On New Year’s eve, 2007, I did shots of absinthe. Undiluted, unmixed, no sugar, no water. It was interesting… I didn’t need a chaser, but it did make me pause before going for the drops left at the bottom of the shot glass. I felt like I’d finally found my sparring partner.

I’m now terrified of what would happen if I ever let myself drink it, actually drink it instead of just sample. I wonder which would give first, the bottle or my liver.

If you haven’t had it before I’ll warn you: absinthe tastes like licorice, only greener and marinated in strong booze. I tried it prepared in the traditional style first and frankly I’d rather shoot it. Less classy, sure. Less pretentious, perhaps. Less like sucking off an alcoholic Twizzler, certainly…

I woke up with a kiss from the green fairy on my lips. Stained green – she’s an interesting gal.

…

In other, completely unrelated news both of my tease photo sets are on sale until Valentine’s Day (Feb. 14th). These photos are the real deal, shot by yours truly with my digital camcorder in classic amateur style (iffy lighting). This is a limited time sale and my photos are exclusive to Niteflirt. Membership is free and if you’re new, you get three free minutes to use on live calls or phone sex recordings.

See my amateur tease pics – I pose for you in a satin button-front nightshirt and black bra, teasing you by keeping the full view hidden. 25 quality softcore pics of me working the sexy girlfriend angle. (reduced from $25)

Nylon and high heels shoe tease show – I tease you in my black nylons and grey stiletto pumps – arching my feet, sliding my stockinged heel out of my shoe, and running my hand down my smooth legs. 6 nylon and shoe fetish photos, by caller request. (reduced from $18)

Happy New Year.

Here’s a sneak peek at the results. The rest are for his eyes only. Exclusivity has its benefits…

He requested that I start out in a short skirt and a lowcut or button-front shirt, taking my panties off and leaving the skirt on for a flash of my bare ass and pussy… He loves silky fullback panties as much as I do, and I had a pair of baby pink-and-sheer striped fullback panties that flaunt my round ass nicely.

I wore my black leather high heel mary janes and a soft fuzzy black zip-up sweater (I like to think of it as “easy access”). I let the matching feminine pink bra stay on for a while, unzipping my sweater and leaning forward enough to let the upper edge of my bra peek out beneath my cleavage.

The bra came off before the sweater did. I played it coy, unzipping my sweater nearly to my waist and then covering my bare breasts with my arms before letting him glimpse one hard pink nipple. The soft fabric of the sweater rubbing against my nipples felt delicious and sensual… I had no problem getting in the mood for this shoot.

My tease callers know I like to tease and deny for a long time before I consider granting permission to come—and for those that hold out long enough, that beg desperately enough, that let me hear the ache in their voices that gives me conviction that they’re nearly over the edge with want—I’ll grant that permission, and throw in something else he wasn’t expecting. I always stop short of what they want most of all but sometimes throwing a thoroughly blue-balled guy an extra crumb of what he craves is all it takes to keep him coming back for more cockteasing “abuse.”

For this sweet repeat client, I threw in that crumb, and pushed this set from teasing to “Did I just see—?”

Yes. Yes, he did.

And did it work?

His response contained more all-caps words and exclamation points than I’ve seen since avoiding Myspace. This isn’t his usual way of writing. And he wants to see me on cam—soon.

So: Yes.

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!