Sabrina in Stockings smartass switch sex worker

My domme-blogging hero Bitchy Jones brings up an excellent question:

“How submissive is it really to pay another person to throw up for your kinky indulgence?”

And see, that’s exactly why pros are around: often, it’s not. There are thousands of kinky men - masochists, fetishists, humiliation aficionados - who can pretend to be submissive in exactly the ways they want to be, to someone they’re paying to give them only the domination they can handle.

In a pro role our preferences conveniently match up with theirs and we’ll push their boundaries only up to the point they want them pushed. It’s the dominant equivalent of an American Eclectic chain restaurant; we’ll change up the menu in exactly the sort of safe ways you’ve come to expect, nothing too risqué, nothing that really requires much trust or taking chances.

We don’t ask for surrender, simply obedience. If our will conflicts with his it won’t be in any heavy way.

Outside the pro role - off duty - I have no patience for bottoms who just can’t admit they’re not submissive. I am one myself. Beat me, whip me, toy with me - oh yes - but try to order me around outside of a play situation and I don’t take to it well at all (sorry darling).

It’s the difference between surrendering to the senses and surrendering to another’s will. Not all bottoming is submission - and that’s okay. But damn, don’t tell me you’re a submissive and then not… actually… submit. It’s incredibly frustrating. Makes me grit my teeth.

I get along just fine with my boys who are upfront with me that they’re still coming to terms with their submission, still fighting it. I always enjoy the trip. It’s different every time. It’s the ones who tell me they’re service submissives, ‘oh I’ll fulfill Your every whim, Mistress,’ the ones into discipline, management, and control… the ones who ask for Real Submission™, and then get all pissy if you move in a direction that’s just not their favorite. (An aside: This doesn’t describe any of my repeat guys. I’m disgustingly fortunate.)

This was something I ran into a lot when I started getting into phone domination, because I was coming to it from a real-time dominant girlfriend style relationship. I didn’t understand why my boys over the phone didn’t react, didn’t bend in the same way my willing victim had until I realized that they fantasized about being submissive.

Before I ran into this directly, I never understood how pro dommes could consider themselves dominant in the “lifestyle” sense. They were paid to fulfill client fantasies. It didn’t compute.

Once I tried it for myself it became clear to me that phone domme was a completely different mindset: service domination. These men have fantasies they may have no interest in living out long-term face to face. They may be afraid to try them; they may simply be between partners, or with partners who don’t share their kinks. They might crave a safe outlet that won’t actively threaten the relationship. Or - like many of my guys - they might have had real-time dominant girlfriends or wives in the past and realized that can get intense, fucked up, and scary, but that they still crave intense, fucked up, and scary things.

These things get them off hard but they aren’t what these men want or need in their daily lives. I scratch their itch (and, also, conveniently, mine). I accept those limitations I wouldn’t accept in my personal life, as an off-the-clock dominant woman. Within their range of interests I have a lot of room to work some magic.

I don’t take calls outside my personal kinky interests; although I love to try new things, I won’t mess with kinks I’m just not interested in. It’s just a personal preference. I switch - always have; when I’m in a mostly dominant role real-time, I tend to sub on the phones, and vice versa. It’s a funny way to balance my urges but it works for me. My lover isn’t submissive or masochistic, but I still kink hard for men in pain, men begging, whimpering, pleading. Oh, and crying. It turns me on to hear a man cry. I’m almost ashamed to say that but it’s true… as long as I caused the tears.

Whatever submissive streak I may have is satisfied with serving a sexual need, and my switchy sadistic dominant side loves having all sorts of interesting submissive, masochistic, and/or kinky men to talk to, explore with, play with… toy with? Yes.

That was completely Sabrina going off on a tangent. The rest of her entry is dead-on hilarious and you must read it - that’s an order.