While hunting through my stockings for just the right pair:
(ring, ring)
“Have you gotten in the shower yet?”
“Yes, I’m all sparkly clean.”
“Oh - I was hoping you’d waited for me.”
“Why?”
(Why?)
“…For fun, of course.”
(Ah. Right.)
The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #63? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks
Slut (http://lafillemariee.blogspot.com)
“I fucked one man at the request of another, in exactly the way asked for. Then I reported what happened to the one who requested it.”
When Clients Look Like Relatives (http://radicalvixen.com/blog)
“I walked out the door, saw a man standing there and almost puked.”
Low Class Stripper? Classism and society’s view of adult entertainment (http://fullfrontalpolitics.com)
“For a lot of women sex work is a last-ditch option, something we all consider in the back of our minds when we’re growing up; we ask ourselves once or twice, if we needed the money, would we strip?”
Mr. Sugasm Himself
Playboy Soldiers (http://sugarbank.com)
Editors’ Choice
Where the Wild Things Are (http://kinkyfarmwife.blogspot.com)
Black stockings, my first pair. Lace band hold-ups with just a hint of a reinforced toe. I got them from Victoria’s Secret when I was seventeen.
These stockings have been wrapped around the waist of a very handsome man recently. But not recently enough - I think I’ll be breaking in a new pair this weekend.
A lipstick-red bra with black lace and embroidered accents on sheer red mesh that doesn’t come off quickly enough for some people… ha.
Matching panties, bikinis, embroidered over my freshly trimmed mound and sheer in the back.
They’re still wet from earlier, mostly on my side. Mostly. I straddled his cock while we kissed, and wet my fingers, and rubbed the head of his cock against my clit through the mesh.
I’ve been pacing my room and listening to the click, click of my new favorite heels on the floor just because I like the sound. There’s a sense of feminine power in that soft echo and it gets me in the mood to take calls. Care to join me?
The ladies at dirtyspoke are still taking nominations for the 2006 Sex Blog of the Year awards. Nominations close 12 midnight EST on January 15, 2007 so get yours in now!
Only one nomination per IP address (duplicates will be deleted). Make sure to include the blog site address (i.e.-http://your-site.com) in the ballot form.
The following categories are open for nomination:
- Best Overall Sex Blog (Any sex blog, by a man, a woman, a group, gay/lesbian, etc.) - Winner to appear with Meme on the radio and receive a copy of Rachel Kramer Bussel’s new book “Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhbitionists.“
- Best Female Sex Blog (Limited to blogs written by a woman, that means she’s gotta have a vagina)
- Best Male Sex Blog (Limited to blogs written by a man, yes, with a penis)
- Best Couple/Group Sex Blog (This can be a blog written by a couple or group, but has to have at least 2 writers - Not a blog about group sex) Winner to receive a 2 DVD set of The L Word, Season 4 (Catch the premiere on Showtime Jan. 7, 2007 at 10pm)
- Sexiest Sex Blogger (Based on pictures of the blog writer) Winner to receive a copy of “The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities“
If you’d like to submit Sabrina in Stockings for nomination, please use http://sabrinainstockings.com/ as the address. Thank you!
Erotica can be so much more than just a rehashing of the themes already inside us. It can be a cure for those suffering through the sexual apathy that occurs during times of stress and depression. It can inspire those who have given up on being sexually happy to demand more from their own lives. It can entertain, which is something I find terribly underrated in erotica. Good erotica should be a mental escape from the repressed and work-obsessed world we live in. Erotica should stimulate not only body parts but also our moods and the way we perceive the world.
The rest of his 2007 Manifesto is spot on too. With erotica it’s easy to get lazy, to forget about all the circumstances that surround sex and make it what it is. It’s even easier to let the smut carry your story. A hot fantasy, written well, is divine. A scorcher written poorly is a turn-off. Readers aren’t supposed to get caught up in the words unless the writing itself is sensual enough to add that something perfect.
The rules of good writing are the same across genres. We as writers don’t take advantage of that as much as we should. Erotica’s goal is to get you hot, maybe get you off, make you think, make you feel, and maybe change your mind a little. It doesn’t have to make you feel good and it doesn’t have to ignore your psyche.
Erotica is writing about sex, and writing about sex is writing about life. That’s an obvious statement, but, fact is - life is messy. Sex is transformative. That’s why it’s so dangerous and so important. We focus on the obvious transitions, the firsts - first boy, first girl, first time, first time there, first kinky experience, first threesome - and the boundaries: age, gender, race, numbers, power dynamics, procreation, consent, adultery. It’s too rare to see erotica that focuses on the smaller everyday moments of transformation.
How about sex as comfort food? Ever had a friend or a lover use that instinctual way of reaching out to you to bring you out of your head and back into the pleasure of the here and now?
Then why not write about it?
And there’s that sex where your head just isn’t right, and you know things are kind of strange. There’s that disconnect and it changes your perspective. The kind where you can’t get off but you might get depressed. The kind where someone stops in the middle, rolls over onto their side, and shakes and cries. It’s not exactly hot but it can be very interesting, especially if you like your fantasies twisted. Cold, disconnected, upset sex between a sadist and a masochist could be volatile and frightening.
There’s that drunken sex where you’re kind of having fun, kind of not sure what you’re doing, but just going with it to go with it.
The highs and lows are intense and the middle ground is confused but erotica is about a delicate blend of lies and honesty. Some of that honesty applies to why we’re doing it and what we’re thinking while we do it. We’re chronicling a basic human urge, here. We’re covering fantasy and reality. Erotica’s about life, only smuttier.
It’s funny. I found out that a little twist on a classic fantasy will turn readers on, but a story they can connect to - even one with less sex - is going to do something just as important: make readers feel they’re not alone.
Sex is a powerful agent of change and connection. Combine sex with thought, action, and emotion and you have a story. The existence of fan fiction proves readers will add more sex in themselves if that’s all that’s missing from the story…
(I’ve been seeing more and more erotica bloggers doing this and it pleases me so much. It makes the stories personal, not just interchangeable Tab A/Slot B caricatures of people. This goes for fiction as well as real-life encounters.)
An erotic scene without a story can be forgettable. Make us think, make us feel, get us hot and we will remember. It’s a challenge but I know the sex blogosphere is up to it.
We can write about emotions and change without writing romance. (Read my archives. It’s just as easy to take that route and write something darker.) We’re writing erotic stories. It’s still about the sex but sex in a vacuum is not good sex. In any story, there’s supposed to be a change somewhere between the beginning and the end. In erotica we’ve been too often relying on the orgasm as that change, and that’s the lazy way out.
People have sex for a reason. Show that reason and you show a story, not just a scene no matter what your word count.
That’s my new year’s resolution. Happy new year. I hope 2007 brings you all every pleasure and a wealth of good experiences. Thanks for reading.